Being depressed without your LDR partner there with you is hard. It's like, you think about all the times you could be having if they were here...but they're not.
For me it's harder. I have friends who never want to hang out. So when I'm not at work, I'm at home alone a lot. I barely get out when I'm not talking to James. All I keep thinking about is all the nice summer days that are going by, and I'm not with him out doing fun things. These days are very difficult.
Hopefully next month, his passport should be here. They are waiting for his case to be closed for a year before starting to get it ready. And his case was closed in July of last year. So, that means they should be starting to get his passport ready next month. And with that, he should be here in August. I really hope that happens. If we haven't met by the end of August, there's something wrong :( I am being cautious about this. I mean I love him and I know he's not a scammer. I just don't want to keep waiting and waiting and getting hurt when he doesn't show up. I know he wants to meet me though, so it's not that he doesn't want to meet me.
I don't want to be like those girls on Dr. Phil who keep waiting and each time they try to meet their "lover", there's some excuse as to why their "lover" can't meet them, because they're a scammer and they obviously don't want to meet them. I dont' want it to go on forever like that. We've been together over 8 months now, and I really want this to work. I have a fantasy all played out in my mind, and I hope that it'll come true with him.
But, me and James have waited 8+ months already, what's another two months? That feels like nothing to us. Most local couples can't go a few days without seeing each other, and I'm sure if me and James lived in the same town, it would be the same thing for us.
Now he's in Massachusetts until Sunday, and I have no idea when he'll be online tonight. He was online briefly this morning, for about an hour before he left (around 11am my time, 10am his time). It takes between 4 - 6 hours to get there, depending on traffic and weather (apparently it was raining off and on there). So, they would have got there between 2 - 4 pm his time. It is now 5:30 his time, and he hasn't been on yet. And I'm starting to get annoyed. And when that happens, it usually leads to me being pissed off at him for being late.
I get that he's probably spending time with his family, but I mean, if that were me, the first thing I'd do once I got there would be to get on my laptop and let him know that I made it and that I'd be going out with my family soon but I'll be back later. It's not that hard, right? At least then it would stop him from worrying all night about me. I just wish he would have thought to do the same, but apparently he didn't. He didn't even tell me what he would be doing once he got there. He just said, "I'll be on when I can". That doesn't give me anything to go by, all I'm going to do is sit here and worry and be pissed if he doesn't come on until too late tonight. Late meaning 10pm my time or later.
It just pisses me off that guys can do that. Go on to have fun and not even think to let us know they're ok, or what they're doing. Meanwhile we're sitting here worrying the fuck out of ourselves and then they wonder why we're pissed when they don't get on until way later than they should have.
Well, they are probably out having supper now, maybe he'll come on after he gets back from that, or after he's done eating. I hope so. I hate all this waiting around, and he should know by now that it just makes me pissed off even more :/
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