Can I just rave for a moment about how awesome he makes me feel?
I know this is typical of people who are just getting seriously into a relationship and are infatuated. But we have been together almost four months now so I think it's safe to say I'm in love.
"But how, you haven't met him in person?" you say, with a confused look on your face. Or a judging look.
No, I have not, not for another 94 days.
And yet, I feel like his spirit is always with me. I'm so lucky that I've found someone so willing to overcome this distance just to be with me. Whenever I talk to him, even if I'm depressed and feel like nothing in the world is right, he just lifts my mood and my heart expands even more, I feel like it's bursting out of my chest with so much love for him.
Am I crazy? Maybe. But I think I deserve to finally feel this way about someone. I've been hurt, rejected and friendzoned time again. I gave enough guys here a chance. Can't say I didn't try. And James feels the same way about girls there. He's said that enough girls have hurt and rejected him, and that girls there barely even notice him. I guess that's one reason why he decided to go ahead and be in a relationship with me despite how hard it would be. I liked him for who he was, and that meant a lot to him since most girls there wouldn't give him the time of day.
Well, the only hard part is missing him. I just want to give him a real hug and kiss, and show my haters that I won't be forever alone as they have said. I want to lay next to him, spend time with him, do fun and crazy things together. It'll be an odd feeling to have someone drive 900kms just to meet me. That's like what someone would do for a pop star or something. I guess most people in LDRs kinda feel the same way?
Anyway, the more I talk to him, each time I fall for him more. Seeing him on skype just makes my normally stoic demeanour melt away and I show emotions for once (lol). He brings out the good in me, makes me feel good and that's the person I've needed for a long time. Someone to stay by my side and believe in me no matter what.
94 days <3
Friday, January 31, 2014
LDR 30 Day Challenge Day One
Day One - Our names:
His name is James Anthony Brito and my name is Alicia Courtney Cameron.
James' surname, Brito, is Spanish and Portugese, originating from Portugal. James speaks Spanish fluently. One Brito settler who arrived in the US in the eighteenth century is Lucia Brito, who arrived in New Orleans in 1778 in a wave of emigration from the Canary Islands.
My surname, Cameron, is a Scottish surname from the fifteenth century, although it could be as far back as the year 1000 with the first chief, Angus Cameron. We were well known as a vicious bunch, and even feared by enemies as well as respected among other Scots. The Queen's Own Cameron Highlanders of Canada are an infantry regiment that became officially gazetted on February 1st 1910.
His name is James Anthony Brito and my name is Alicia Courtney Cameron.
James' surname, Brito, is Spanish and Portugese, originating from Portugal. James speaks Spanish fluently. One Brito settler who arrived in the US in the eighteenth century is Lucia Brito, who arrived in New Orleans in 1778 in a wave of emigration from the Canary Islands.
My surname, Cameron, is a Scottish surname from the fifteenth century, although it could be as far back as the year 1000 with the first chief, Angus Cameron. We were well known as a vicious bunch, and even feared by enemies as well as respected among other Scots. The Queen's Own Cameron Highlanders of Canada are an infantry regiment that became officially gazetted on February 1st 1910.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Random Ramblings
No doubt about it...being without them on the days that you're sad or depressed is very hard. I'm having one of those days. And James is at work so I won't be able to talk to him until later. I can send him a note, which I probably will do after I write this.
96 days until I meet him. Somedays it feels longer than others. Somedays I'm just like "omg it's only 96 more days" then other days I'm like "omg 96 days hurry the fuck up already". Our 4 month anniversary is a week from tomorrow, and Valentine's day is in 2 weeks. The time has passed fairly quickly though.
I've been making lists of things I want to do with him while he's here. That list will change, depending on my budget by that time. There are a few things I know for sure I want to do with him. But other things are just time filler ideas for if we're ever bored at some point, which I don't think we will be.
It's strange, having someone drive all the way from New York (or I guess Massachusetts by the time he moves) to meet me. It's kinda hard to wrap my head around. It's also hard to wrap my head around that I've found such an amazing guy, and how lucky it was that we found each other.
Basically we picked May 7th as the day to meet because it'll be our 7 month anniversary and we'd like to spend an anniversary together, as well as it gives him time to get settled in Massachusetts, get a passport and a car, etc. The wait has been torture but it's going to be worth it, I know it. He said that he wants to be together for our one year anniversary as well so I really hope I get a job at some point this year, I'll need one if I'm going to be in an LDR :(
Still no luck on the job end, as you can tell. Never heard back from the last interview so I can pretty much write that one off. I didn't have a good feeling about it anyway. Sigh. I guess I'll keep trying. I think I'm going to try sending my novel off to agencies. I've been rejected a few times before but it's been a while since I've tried so why not try again.
Guess that's all I have to say for now....miss you babe :( <3
96 days until I meet him. Somedays it feels longer than others. Somedays I'm just like "omg it's only 96 more days" then other days I'm like "omg 96 days hurry the fuck up already". Our 4 month anniversary is a week from tomorrow, and Valentine's day is in 2 weeks. The time has passed fairly quickly though.
I've been making lists of things I want to do with him while he's here. That list will change, depending on my budget by that time. There are a few things I know for sure I want to do with him. But other things are just time filler ideas for if we're ever bored at some point, which I don't think we will be.
It's strange, having someone drive all the way from New York (or I guess Massachusetts by the time he moves) to meet me. It's kinda hard to wrap my head around. It's also hard to wrap my head around that I've found such an amazing guy, and how lucky it was that we found each other.
Basically we picked May 7th as the day to meet because it'll be our 7 month anniversary and we'd like to spend an anniversary together, as well as it gives him time to get settled in Massachusetts, get a passport and a car, etc. The wait has been torture but it's going to be worth it, I know it. He said that he wants to be together for our one year anniversary as well so I really hope I get a job at some point this year, I'll need one if I'm going to be in an LDR :(
Still no luck on the job end, as you can tell. Never heard back from the last interview so I can pretty much write that one off. I didn't have a good feeling about it anyway. Sigh. I guess I'll keep trying. I think I'm going to try sending my novel off to agencies. I've been rejected a few times before but it's been a while since I've tried so why not try again.
Guess that's all I have to say for now....miss you babe :( <3
Monday, January 27, 2014
Feeling Anxious While Waiting for Him to Come Online
It's normal to be anxious while waiting for someone to come online, especially if they tell you they'll be online at a certain time, then they turn out to be an hour or more late. What if you have no other way to contact them (meaning you don't have international texting or calling yet such as in my situation) so you wait and wait all day and then by the time they come on you're either relieved or mad, or both.
Take this scenario for example: he says "I'll be on around 11am or so my time (however big your time difference is, if you have one)". So you wake up the next day, and 11 am his time comes around. He doesn't come online, so you shrug it off as him sleeping in or doing some duty that he told you about. An hour passes, you're still not that worried. He could be stuck in traffic, had to go and do something else without warning, etc. Two hours go by, so you start to think more about where he could be. He's two hours late, did he just forget about you? Did something happen to him? Three hours go by, now you're just pacing the floor and biting your nails because you have no way to contact him even if something happened to him. He finally comes online and gives you a reasonable excuse for which you feel like an idiot for worrying.
It's happened to me a few times so far. James is usually pretty good with coming online when he says he will. The only time he's late is if the subway/buses are running late or if he had to go do something unexpectedly, or if he got out of work late. It's important to tell your partner, especially in an LDR, the things you'll be doing that day so they don't spend all day worrying and waiting for you. I don't think it's too much to ask to ease the anxiety. James and I tell each other everything. It's not like you have to ask permission from the person to go do something. Just let them know approximately what time you'll be back, or at least what you're doing so they get an idea of when they'll be able to talk to you again.
I don't have a job, like I said before, so it's hard for me to wait all day for him. I mean, I try to keep myself busy, but there's only so much I can do before I start to wonder where he is, or how he's doing, or if he'll be online soon. I'm not a possessive girlfriend, but it's not that hard to say "hey I'm going to get my hair cut then going to lunch with my best friend, be back in a few hours". That's all I'd ask, and James does tell me what he's doing unless something comes up unexpectedly like I said. It's better than waking up, and not hearing a single word from them until later in the evening.
The point of LDR's is constant communication. Or at least, as constant as you can make it. If both of you have really busy schedules or large time differences and can't talk more than a few times a week then chances are it won't work out in the long run. It's not fun to be with a person who is busy all the time and doesn't have time to even talk to you for a couple of hours each day. I'm lucky that James is only one hour behind me so our time difference is not bad at all and it's easy for us to talk often. He works, but he talks to me whenever he's not at work or doing errands with his dad.
Tonight he works closing shift which sucks, but he talked to me before he left and he has tomorrow and Wednesday off so that is more talking for us which makes me happy. Although I don't know exactly what time he's going to be coming online but he said if he's not online in the morning he'll be here early afternoon for sure. So at least I got some kind of an idea of when he'll be online.
It's better than just not saying anything and expecting the other person to wait all day for you. I never have plans so I don't have to worry about waiting for him to interfere with other plans, but some people do. Like, say a friend asks you to hang out, but you turn them down because you're waiting to talk to your partner, and they don't end up coming online until a few hours later so you would have had time to hang out with your friend after all. It just makes it easier in the long run and it's not a hard thing to do. Some guys get all mad and say that we're asking too much of them. If they think that's asking too much, then tell them it's better than having to ask permission to do anything. I'm also lucky that James doesn't mind telling me what he's doing and I don't mind telling him what I'm doing.
I don't get those relationships where they're like "hey honey can I go to my best friend's place for a few hours" then they get all upset and demand to spend the time with you instead of letting you go. It's nice to have someone who is jealous and protective of me but at the same time he trusts me. And I trust him too.
I am getting really excited about meeting him though. Soon enough it'll be here.
Take this scenario for example: he says "I'll be on around 11am or so my time (however big your time difference is, if you have one)". So you wake up the next day, and 11 am his time comes around. He doesn't come online, so you shrug it off as him sleeping in or doing some duty that he told you about. An hour passes, you're still not that worried. He could be stuck in traffic, had to go and do something else without warning, etc. Two hours go by, so you start to think more about where he could be. He's two hours late, did he just forget about you? Did something happen to him? Three hours go by, now you're just pacing the floor and biting your nails because you have no way to contact him even if something happened to him. He finally comes online and gives you a reasonable excuse for which you feel like an idiot for worrying.
It's happened to me a few times so far. James is usually pretty good with coming online when he says he will. The only time he's late is if the subway/buses are running late or if he had to go do something unexpectedly, or if he got out of work late. It's important to tell your partner, especially in an LDR, the things you'll be doing that day so they don't spend all day worrying and waiting for you. I don't think it's too much to ask to ease the anxiety. James and I tell each other everything. It's not like you have to ask permission from the person to go do something. Just let them know approximately what time you'll be back, or at least what you're doing so they get an idea of when they'll be able to talk to you again.
I don't have a job, like I said before, so it's hard for me to wait all day for him. I mean, I try to keep myself busy, but there's only so much I can do before I start to wonder where he is, or how he's doing, or if he'll be online soon. I'm not a possessive girlfriend, but it's not that hard to say "hey I'm going to get my hair cut then going to lunch with my best friend, be back in a few hours". That's all I'd ask, and James does tell me what he's doing unless something comes up unexpectedly like I said. It's better than waking up, and not hearing a single word from them until later in the evening.
The point of LDR's is constant communication. Or at least, as constant as you can make it. If both of you have really busy schedules or large time differences and can't talk more than a few times a week then chances are it won't work out in the long run. It's not fun to be with a person who is busy all the time and doesn't have time to even talk to you for a couple of hours each day. I'm lucky that James is only one hour behind me so our time difference is not bad at all and it's easy for us to talk often. He works, but he talks to me whenever he's not at work or doing errands with his dad.
Tonight he works closing shift which sucks, but he talked to me before he left and he has tomorrow and Wednesday off so that is more talking for us which makes me happy. Although I don't know exactly what time he's going to be coming online but he said if he's not online in the morning he'll be here early afternoon for sure. So at least I got some kind of an idea of when he'll be online.
It's better than just not saying anything and expecting the other person to wait all day for you. I never have plans so I don't have to worry about waiting for him to interfere with other plans, but some people do. Like, say a friend asks you to hang out, but you turn them down because you're waiting to talk to your partner, and they don't end up coming online until a few hours later so you would have had time to hang out with your friend after all. It just makes it easier in the long run and it's not a hard thing to do. Some guys get all mad and say that we're asking too much of them. If they think that's asking too much, then tell them it's better than having to ask permission to do anything. I'm also lucky that James doesn't mind telling me what he's doing and I don't mind telling him what I'm doing.
I don't get those relationships where they're like "hey honey can I go to my best friend's place for a few hours" then they get all upset and demand to spend the time with you instead of letting you go. It's nice to have someone who is jealous and protective of me but at the same time he trusts me. And I trust him too.
I am getting really excited about meeting him though. Soon enough it'll be here.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Scars of the Past
We all have them. Those memories that still hurt us, make us really upset or angry when we think about them, even if they happened years ago with people who are no longer in our lives. You can say "forgive and forget", or at least just "forget", but for some of us it isn't that easy. A lot of us have a certain word that triggers a memory or a feeling, and we can go into a funk about it for a while, even years after it happened. You don't even have to have a certain word, a memory can just pop up out of nowhere.
Well that's true with me at least. This doesn't have a whole lot to do with LDR's other than I know James feels the same way about certain things in his past that hurt him, and we'll be able to recover together. I love that I'm able to confide in him about anything, because he can also relate to feeling similar or the same things that I did/do.
I've had my fair share of hurt from previous relationships. Falling for someone, only to have them break your heart after a while of being with them. The pain never gets easier, especially if you really like the person, then things just somehow went wrong in one way or another. I'm worried things could still potentially go wrong here, with James, but I get along so well with him that it's hard to see it going wrong. Then again, I said that about other guys too.
I've also had some hurt from previous friendships. People who I thought were my friends betraying me, saying mean things, hurting me, etc. Sure I'm not saying I'm totally the victim of those situations but most of the time the arguments and nasty words were uncalled for on both our parts. I even had a best friend of five years give up on me after he met a girlfriend. Now we're starting to talk again but it's still not the same, and it really sucks. Plus I'm still bitter about certain things with him and he's still with that girl. At least he apologized for his part and I did too. Those are the people I can forgive, the ones who apologize.
The worst is when people fight with you but don't apologize for hurting you. Even if you were the one who started it, in my opinion both sides should apologize if mean words were exchanged. It's like:
Me: "I'm sorry for calling you ugly, I was just having a bad day"
Them: "it's ok..."
Me: "but you called me a stupid bitch, where's my apology?"
It's only fair, right? It takes two to argue. One to start it, one to keep it going. I could write a lot about this but I don't want anyone who could be reading this to get upset. So I'll just keep it simple and not focus on friendships but moreso relationships, or LDR's.
So you and your LDR partner are having a fight. Doesn't matter who started it, in the end as long as both of you calm down and apologize to each other, it should be fine. Hopefully you don't fight too much, because fighting a lot sucks and is stressful. I don't see how people can be in relationships where all they do is fight everyday.
And try not to let negative things from your past come forward into new relationships. I know it's hard. I keep thinking that James will just end up getting bored of the distance and leaving me, as other guys have. Or that he'll find someone else. You just have to have faith that it's going to work. James hasn't given me any doubt that he's wavering about the distance, and he's assured me that he hates the girls in New York (lol) so he won't find anyone there to be with. So it's only my paranoid thoughts and memories bringing those things up.
I know we'll make it, and we'll be together in the long run. I don't care how many people doubt us, or think we're crazy. I know we can do it.
99 more days until our first meeting omg....
Well that's true with me at least. This doesn't have a whole lot to do with LDR's other than I know James feels the same way about certain things in his past that hurt him, and we'll be able to recover together. I love that I'm able to confide in him about anything, because he can also relate to feeling similar or the same things that I did/do.
I've had my fair share of hurt from previous relationships. Falling for someone, only to have them break your heart after a while of being with them. The pain never gets easier, especially if you really like the person, then things just somehow went wrong in one way or another. I'm worried things could still potentially go wrong here, with James, but I get along so well with him that it's hard to see it going wrong. Then again, I said that about other guys too.
I've also had some hurt from previous friendships. People who I thought were my friends betraying me, saying mean things, hurting me, etc. Sure I'm not saying I'm totally the victim of those situations but most of the time the arguments and nasty words were uncalled for on both our parts. I even had a best friend of five years give up on me after he met a girlfriend. Now we're starting to talk again but it's still not the same, and it really sucks. Plus I'm still bitter about certain things with him and he's still with that girl. At least he apologized for his part and I did too. Those are the people I can forgive, the ones who apologize.
The worst is when people fight with you but don't apologize for hurting you. Even if you were the one who started it, in my opinion both sides should apologize if mean words were exchanged. It's like:
Me: "I'm sorry for calling you ugly, I was just having a bad day"
Them: "it's ok..."
Me: "but you called me a stupid bitch, where's my apology?"
It's only fair, right? It takes two to argue. One to start it, one to keep it going. I could write a lot about this but I don't want anyone who could be reading this to get upset. So I'll just keep it simple and not focus on friendships but moreso relationships, or LDR's.
So you and your LDR partner are having a fight. Doesn't matter who started it, in the end as long as both of you calm down and apologize to each other, it should be fine. Hopefully you don't fight too much, because fighting a lot sucks and is stressful. I don't see how people can be in relationships where all they do is fight everyday.
And try not to let negative things from your past come forward into new relationships. I know it's hard. I keep thinking that James will just end up getting bored of the distance and leaving me, as other guys have. Or that he'll find someone else. You just have to have faith that it's going to work. James hasn't given me any doubt that he's wavering about the distance, and he's assured me that he hates the girls in New York (lol) so he won't find anyone there to be with. So it's only my paranoid thoughts and memories bringing those things up.
I know we'll make it, and we'll be together in the long run. I don't care how many people doubt us, or think we're crazy. I know we can do it.
99 more days until our first meeting omg....
Friday, January 24, 2014
Things to do When They Come to Visit
Those of us in an LDR only understand the feelings that we get as we're waiting to meet him for the first time. We're anxious, excited, nervous, happy, and I know that I'll probably cry happy tears when he's finally in my arms.
Then you have a whole week/two weeks/month/however long they plan on being there with you, to spend with them. For me, James plans on being here for a week. I already have some ideas for what I want us to do. Here are a few:
- go on a sunset sailing tour
- go to museums/exhibits/parks/forts etc (we're both history nerds, also we like animals)
- go for walks
- dance in the moonlight
- go out for dinner of course (I'm taking him to places that he wouldn't be able to go to in New York or Massachusetts)
- have a picnic
- go to the beach, even if not to swim since the water will still be cold, it's still nice to relax
- explore the south shore of Nova Scotia
- take him to our capital city, Halifax, and do a few things there
- watch our favourite TV shows/movies together and cuddle
- play mini golf
- go bowling
- play pool
- go to malls
- take him to seaside towns
- watch sunsets
- go on photo runs
Now, I've seen a lot of LDR couples that say all they do when they're together is watch TV and stay in bed the whole time. While watching TV and cuddling is fine, I just think it's kind of a waste of time if you do it all day everyday. Why not go out somewhere fun? You only have a certain amount of time with them, and I know for me, there's places I want to take James, I want to show him a good time if he's spending all this money to come and see me.
I'm lucky that with James, we have a lot of similarities, so we can do things that we'll both enjoy. It kind of sucks if you have a lot of differences so that you have to end up doing things that one or the other won't have fun at doing. I've been through that route too with previous relationships. I don't like country music, yet I went to a few country music concerts with one of my ex's who loved country music. So...yeah. And yet, whenever I wanted to do something they didn't like, they'd complain. Not fair really.
So I hope that list up there gave you some ideas as to things to do when your partner comes to meet you for the first time. If you run out of ideas then just search Google for things to do in your area. I'm sure it'll help ;)
Anyway, that's all for now. 102 days left <3
Then you have a whole week/two weeks/month/however long they plan on being there with you, to spend with them. For me, James plans on being here for a week. I already have some ideas for what I want us to do. Here are a few:
- go on a sunset sailing tour
- go to museums/exhibits/parks/forts etc (we're both history nerds, also we like animals)
- go for walks
- dance in the moonlight
- go out for dinner of course (I'm taking him to places that he wouldn't be able to go to in New York or Massachusetts)
- have a picnic
- go to the beach, even if not to swim since the water will still be cold, it's still nice to relax
- explore the south shore of Nova Scotia
- take him to our capital city, Halifax, and do a few things there
- watch our favourite TV shows/movies together and cuddle
- play mini golf
- go bowling
- play pool
- go to malls
- take him to seaside towns
- watch sunsets
- go on photo runs
Now, I've seen a lot of LDR couples that say all they do when they're together is watch TV and stay in bed the whole time. While watching TV and cuddling is fine, I just think it's kind of a waste of time if you do it all day everyday. Why not go out somewhere fun? You only have a certain amount of time with them, and I know for me, there's places I want to take James, I want to show him a good time if he's spending all this money to come and see me.
I'm lucky that with James, we have a lot of similarities, so we can do things that we'll both enjoy. It kind of sucks if you have a lot of differences so that you have to end up doing things that one or the other won't have fun at doing. I've been through that route too with previous relationships. I don't like country music, yet I went to a few country music concerts with one of my ex's who loved country music. So...yeah. And yet, whenever I wanted to do something they didn't like, they'd complain. Not fair really.
So I hope that list up there gave you some ideas as to things to do when your partner comes to meet you for the first time. If you run out of ideas then just search Google for things to do in your area. I'm sure it'll help ;)
Anyway, that's all for now. 102 days left <3
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Valentine's Day
Ah Valentine's Day. The day that makes single people super aware that they're single, as in single awareness day lol. It was always great to feel left out wasn't it? Especially when people bragged about the things they'd get from their partners.
James and I hate Valentine's Day in that obviously we were bitter single people for most of them. Well, except for me, but my anti-romantic boyfriends never did a thing for me on Valentine's Day so I might as well have been single. In high school especially, and middle school, you'd see the girls going around showing off the roses, huge teddy bears and boxes of chocolates they'd get from their boyfriends. You'd see them posting it on facebook and other social media. It was even bad in elementary school where you'd have the Valentine's bags open on your desks and only the popular people would get a lot and I'd be like Ralph Wiggum and barely get any, well he got none but I'd get maybe 5 - 10 while other kids got one from almost everyone in the class.
Also there were those stupid candy grams and obviously only popular people would get any amount. I'd sometimes get one from my closest friends but most of the time I didn't get any or send any myself. So that's how I came to be bitter about Valentine's Day. Yet at the same time, I still wished I had a boyfriend who would do cute, cheesy things for me, because hell I'm a Libra, my planet is Venus, and I need romance dammit.
I asked James what he'd do for me if he was here, and he said he'd give me flowers and chocolates, take me to dinner, then bring me back home so we could cuddle and watch movies and stuff. I'm like where have you been all my life? He hasn't had a girlfriend before me, therefore he's been single on Valentine's Day until now. I'm not sure if we'll spend a Valentine's Day together during our long distance part of the relationship, but I imagine at some point we will if we want to live together someday.
I've made something cute and cheesy for him, so I don't know if I'll mail it or just wait until he gets here to give it to him as a belated V-Day gift. I might mail it though. Also I'll send him a telegram, I found a website that sends telegrams so that's cool, it's only like 7$ plus 1$ for a photo or something like that. He's into old-fashioned stuff like that so I know he'll like it a lot. I can't mail him anything until he moves so it might be late for V-Day but at least it'll be something. Plus I'll send him a card I guess. I don't have much money right now since I don't have a job and any money I get between now and when he gets here is going towards the trip, but I'm sure I can spare a buck or two for a card and a telegram.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on Valentine's Day. It's harder when you're in an LDR for sure, but like I said, if you're on a budget like me, you can do the telegram thing or just send a nice card with a cute photo. Maybe even hand-make the card. I know James likes hand-made stuff. However, if you can afford it, go all out and send them a whole bouquet of roses or a big box of chocolates lol.
105 more days until I finally meet him <3
James and I hate Valentine's Day in that obviously we were bitter single people for most of them. Well, except for me, but my anti-romantic boyfriends never did a thing for me on Valentine's Day so I might as well have been single. In high school especially, and middle school, you'd see the girls going around showing off the roses, huge teddy bears and boxes of chocolates they'd get from their boyfriends. You'd see them posting it on facebook and other social media. It was even bad in elementary school where you'd have the Valentine's bags open on your desks and only the popular people would get a lot and I'd be like Ralph Wiggum and barely get any, well he got none but I'd get maybe 5 - 10 while other kids got one from almost everyone in the class.
Also there were those stupid candy grams and obviously only popular people would get any amount. I'd sometimes get one from my closest friends but most of the time I didn't get any or send any myself. So that's how I came to be bitter about Valentine's Day. Yet at the same time, I still wished I had a boyfriend who would do cute, cheesy things for me, because hell I'm a Libra, my planet is Venus, and I need romance dammit.
I asked James what he'd do for me if he was here, and he said he'd give me flowers and chocolates, take me to dinner, then bring me back home so we could cuddle and watch movies and stuff. I'm like where have you been all my life? He hasn't had a girlfriend before me, therefore he's been single on Valentine's Day until now. I'm not sure if we'll spend a Valentine's Day together during our long distance part of the relationship, but I imagine at some point we will if we want to live together someday.
I've made something cute and cheesy for him, so I don't know if I'll mail it or just wait until he gets here to give it to him as a belated V-Day gift. I might mail it though. Also I'll send him a telegram, I found a website that sends telegrams so that's cool, it's only like 7$ plus 1$ for a photo or something like that. He's into old-fashioned stuff like that so I know he'll like it a lot. I can't mail him anything until he moves so it might be late for V-Day but at least it'll be something. Plus I'll send him a card I guess. I don't have much money right now since I don't have a job and any money I get between now and when he gets here is going towards the trip, but I'm sure I can spare a buck or two for a card and a telegram.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on Valentine's Day. It's harder when you're in an LDR for sure, but like I said, if you're on a budget like me, you can do the telegram thing or just send a nice card with a cute photo. Maybe even hand-make the card. I know James likes hand-made stuff. However, if you can afford it, go all out and send them a whole bouquet of roses or a big box of chocolates lol.
105 more days until I finally meet him <3
Sunday, January 19, 2014
My Thoughts on LDRs
I'm sure those of you who are also in an LDR have experienced people saying that you're crazy and it won't work out because who wants to be in a relationship with someone so far away from you?
Well, you might ask yourself the same question. But you know the answer...you want to be with them because they complete you. They're your soulmate, your true love, and you'll do anything, even overcome distance, to be with them.
Of course people will ridicule you, and say things like "how do you know they're your soul mate, you've never met them yet". There's no explaining it really. They say that you just know when you've found the one? Well, I know it now with James. He's my one. I don't care that we haven't met yet. I feel like we already have, and I feel like at times his spirit is around me. I don't care if people call me crazy. That's just how I feel.
None of my friends really made fun of me too much, besides one, but I expected it from him. But other than that it was pretty good. My family however was different. Well, of course they doubted me, and probably think it's weird that I'm dating someone so far away. But now my mom asks questions about him, and my sister isn't quite as weird about it as she used to be although sometimes she still is. My mom said that things are different these days and that I just have to be careful, which I am careful on the internet.
I do believe LDRs can really work, there is proof of that as they have worked and people have gotten married from them. So don't listen to anyone who says "LDR's don't work" because they obviously do. If you really love someone and want to be with them, nothing matters, not even distance.
But again, you do have to be careful as there are a lot of scammers/catfish out there. If you don't know what a catfish is, it's a person who hides behind one or more identities online and pretends to be someone else to reel you in, and get you to fall for them only to hurt you in the end. Here are some of the warning signs/red flags of a catfish:
- makes excuses not to go on skype, send a recent photo of themselves or talk on the phone
- cancels plans each time you try to meet with some elaborate excuse
- works overseas and has some elaborate job (a lot of times they say they're from the military or work with an oil company or own their own company or such things)
- always seems to reply instantly whenever you're online or text them
- very quickly starts declaring their love for you and saying things like "you're so beautiful and the woman of my dreams" (don't fall for that)
- starts asking you for money with elaborate excuses and promises to pay you back (they never do)
- if you've only heard their voice and/or communicated by email/text/IM and not seen their face on video, do not let it go farther until you ask to see their face, as words and pictures are easy to hide behind
- if the way they're typing sounds like English is their second language
- has a very tragic back story or always coming up with more tragic drama to get you to feel sorry for them
- sends you a first message such as "you're sexy" or "you're beautiful"
So if you're watching out for the warning signs and make sure there are none, your relationship should be the real thing. There was no warning signs from the beginning when I met James. I knew he was a real person from the start. And now we see each other on webcam almost every night, the only nights we don't see each other are when he works night shift.
I can easily tell when someone's trying to scam me or be an idiot with me online. I've had experiences before, not that I've ever been duped by a catfish (luckily any guy I met online turned out to be real), however one of my ex boyfriends would make a bunch of different fake profiles to talk to me. I could figure out it was him pretty quickly. As well as I've had guys send me really weird and creepy messages that I just ignored. It's usually pretty easy to tell when someone's being fake with you. At least for me.
I'm going to meet James in person in 107 days. I miss him a lot, and I can't wait to hold him and kiss him for the first time. When he's with me, I'll be making a lot of videos and vlogs about our trip, so I'll post them on my youtube channel for people to see. I really believe that this will work, and I'll do anything to be with him. I know he feels the same about me.
Well, you might ask yourself the same question. But you know the answer...you want to be with them because they complete you. They're your soulmate, your true love, and you'll do anything, even overcome distance, to be with them.
Of course people will ridicule you, and say things like "how do you know they're your soul mate, you've never met them yet". There's no explaining it really. They say that you just know when you've found the one? Well, I know it now with James. He's my one. I don't care that we haven't met yet. I feel like we already have, and I feel like at times his spirit is around me. I don't care if people call me crazy. That's just how I feel.
None of my friends really made fun of me too much, besides one, but I expected it from him. But other than that it was pretty good. My family however was different. Well, of course they doubted me, and probably think it's weird that I'm dating someone so far away. But now my mom asks questions about him, and my sister isn't quite as weird about it as she used to be although sometimes she still is. My mom said that things are different these days and that I just have to be careful, which I am careful on the internet.
I do believe LDRs can really work, there is proof of that as they have worked and people have gotten married from them. So don't listen to anyone who says "LDR's don't work" because they obviously do. If you really love someone and want to be with them, nothing matters, not even distance.
But again, you do have to be careful as there are a lot of scammers/catfish out there. If you don't know what a catfish is, it's a person who hides behind one or more identities online and pretends to be someone else to reel you in, and get you to fall for them only to hurt you in the end. Here are some of the warning signs/red flags of a catfish:
- makes excuses not to go on skype, send a recent photo of themselves or talk on the phone
- cancels plans each time you try to meet with some elaborate excuse
- works overseas and has some elaborate job (a lot of times they say they're from the military or work with an oil company or own their own company or such things)
- always seems to reply instantly whenever you're online or text them
- very quickly starts declaring their love for you and saying things like "you're so beautiful and the woman of my dreams" (don't fall for that)
- starts asking you for money with elaborate excuses and promises to pay you back (they never do)
- if you've only heard their voice and/or communicated by email/text/IM and not seen their face on video, do not let it go farther until you ask to see their face, as words and pictures are easy to hide behind
- if the way they're typing sounds like English is their second language
- has a very tragic back story or always coming up with more tragic drama to get you to feel sorry for them
- sends you a first message such as "you're sexy" or "you're beautiful"
So if you're watching out for the warning signs and make sure there are none, your relationship should be the real thing. There was no warning signs from the beginning when I met James. I knew he was a real person from the start. And now we see each other on webcam almost every night, the only nights we don't see each other are when he works night shift.
I can easily tell when someone's trying to scam me or be an idiot with me online. I've had experiences before, not that I've ever been duped by a catfish (luckily any guy I met online turned out to be real), however one of my ex boyfriends would make a bunch of different fake profiles to talk to me. I could figure out it was him pretty quickly. As well as I've had guys send me really weird and creepy messages that I just ignored. It's usually pretty easy to tell when someone's being fake with you. At least for me.
I'm going to meet James in person in 107 days. I miss him a lot, and I can't wait to hold him and kiss him for the first time. When he's with me, I'll be making a lot of videos and vlogs about our trip, so I'll post them on my youtube channel for people to see. I really believe that this will work, and I'll do anything to be with him. I know he feels the same about me.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Alone? I Don't Think So
Did anyone ever tell you that you'll just end up alone because no one wants to be around people like you?
Yeah, I've been told that, by more than one person. And to be honest, when I was single for the last 10 months, I started to believe it. I started to think that no one would ever love me for who I was, even the bad things about me. I thought, how is it fair that people who are worse off than me, are in a relationship while I'm still single? What did I do wrong? I was only depressed, yet people who had a lot worse problems/attitudes than me were in relationships. I was starting to feel defeated.
When I met James, I wasn't looking out to start a new relationship, especially not an LDR. Although, even in the month or so before I met him, I'd started watching those LDR first meeting videos. After I met James, and we started talking consistently, I thought maybe I'd met a new internet friend but that it wouldn't ever go beyond that, since well, he lived in a different country and I thought most guys aren't willing to start an LDR, they'd rather date someone in their own state/province/town, etc. James is the opposite, he complains about the girls in New York and how shallow most of them are, so that's why he was happy to start an LDR with me. And like I said, I gave enough guys here enough chances, and they all blew it.
So, even if you're single and someone tells you that you're just going to end up alone, don't despair. Just keep waiting until God puts the right one in your life. That's what I believe happened with me and James. I was single that long because I was waiting for something, someone, or thinking that I was going to be alone like people have said. I didn't want to go out and pursue relationships anymore. James joined DA one month before he met me, so I think that definitely says something. He told me that something kept telling him to join DA, and then he met me and our lives changed completely.
Sure it's definitely way too soon to think about getting married to him, but we've talked about it and I'd say things like "no one wants to marry me" and he'd be like "ohh you never know ;)". He didn't shy away from the topic of marriage as most guys do. I know we're only 3.5 months in and we have not met in person yet, but if you're a girl you'll know that most girls fantasize about their weddings even when they're single, or no matter what guy they're with.
I'm very happy in my relationship, although slightly depressed about where my life is at the moment (no job, no car, etc) but I'm sure something will happen soon, at least I hope. Everyone keeps telling me I'll get a job soon, so I guess all I can do is keep applying and wait. I've applied to two more jobs in the last couple of days, one of them being in the area that I studied in school. So I hope I hear something. I need a break here.
At least I have love, and James, to help me through these rough times <3
Yeah, I've been told that, by more than one person. And to be honest, when I was single for the last 10 months, I started to believe it. I started to think that no one would ever love me for who I was, even the bad things about me. I thought, how is it fair that people who are worse off than me, are in a relationship while I'm still single? What did I do wrong? I was only depressed, yet people who had a lot worse problems/attitudes than me were in relationships. I was starting to feel defeated.
When I met James, I wasn't looking out to start a new relationship, especially not an LDR. Although, even in the month or so before I met him, I'd started watching those LDR first meeting videos. After I met James, and we started talking consistently, I thought maybe I'd met a new internet friend but that it wouldn't ever go beyond that, since well, he lived in a different country and I thought most guys aren't willing to start an LDR, they'd rather date someone in their own state/province/town, etc. James is the opposite, he complains about the girls in New York and how shallow most of them are, so that's why he was happy to start an LDR with me. And like I said, I gave enough guys here enough chances, and they all blew it.
So, even if you're single and someone tells you that you're just going to end up alone, don't despair. Just keep waiting until God puts the right one in your life. That's what I believe happened with me and James. I was single that long because I was waiting for something, someone, or thinking that I was going to be alone like people have said. I didn't want to go out and pursue relationships anymore. James joined DA one month before he met me, so I think that definitely says something. He told me that something kept telling him to join DA, and then he met me and our lives changed completely.
Sure it's definitely way too soon to think about getting married to him, but we've talked about it and I'd say things like "no one wants to marry me" and he'd be like "ohh you never know ;)". He didn't shy away from the topic of marriage as most guys do. I know we're only 3.5 months in and we have not met in person yet, but if you're a girl you'll know that most girls fantasize about their weddings even when they're single, or no matter what guy they're with.
I'm very happy in my relationship, although slightly depressed about where my life is at the moment (no job, no car, etc) but I'm sure something will happen soon, at least I hope. Everyone keeps telling me I'll get a job soon, so I guess all I can do is keep applying and wait. I've applied to two more jobs in the last couple of days, one of them being in the area that I studied in school. So I hope I hear something. I need a break here.
At least I have love, and James, to help me through these rough times <3
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Those Lonely Nights Without Him
Tonight he works closing shift. I won't get to talk to him until tomorrow evening when he gets home from work. I don't like these nights. Especially if I'm feeling down or depressed and I want to talk to him but he's not there.
It's especially lonely when everyone else gets to be with their significant other whenever they want, but I have to wait another 110 days. I see people posting photos of them and their partners together, I see them saying how much of an amazing time they had, or what they're going to do with them the next day. I have no photos of me and my boyfriend together, at least not yet obviously. The closest I have to photos of us together are us on skype.
We've suffered this long, we can do 110 more days. Soon enough we'll be in the home stretch. At least it's less than 4 months now, and our next anniversary (February 7th) will be our 4 month anniversary.
Honestly I'm a lot happier now than I was with any guy here. The only thing that would make this more amazing and perfect is if of course he lived in the same province at least lol. I know people will say "how can he make you happy, you don't know him" or "he might be a jerk in real life". I know all that. But really, I'm an expert on jerks and fishy internet boyfriends. So I'm pretty sure I could tell by now if something was off. Either that or he is a really good liar.
I just love that I can talk to James about literally anything, and be myself 100% without having to hide or mask anything. He's very patient and doesn't get upset/frustrated when I talk about a complicated subject that most people would get turned off by. I'm the same way. When people talk to me about their problems, I don't get upset. So if you feel like you have to mask yourself around someone, maybe they're not a good friend/boyfriend. Your boyfriend should accept you for who you are, even all the bad things. If he gets mad or frustrated when you talk about certain things, like your real feelings (say you're depressed or upset about something) then that's not exactly a healthy relationship. I know because I've been in them. It's really frustrating when you're depressed and your boyfriend gets mad about it. You can't help it. You're just looking for someone to talk to but he shuts down when you try to talk to him. And that's not good.
What I do on these lonely nights is try to keep myself busy even though I don't have a job. I read, write, watch youtube, cross-stitch, super exciting stuff. It's hard to not think about the fact that you're lonely and really want them beside you. I think about it all the time. I also look for jobs, and apply for any I see, but a lot of times there's nothing new. It's not even that my town is a small town, just that for some reason there's never jobs. At least I'm tryin here, just waiting for someone to take the bait.
Well...it's 110 days until I finally meet him. Soon enough he'll be in Massachusetts, which is closer than New York by about 400kms. That'll take 4 hours off his drive. But it's still a 9 hour drive,which is not that bad to be honest. And when it's my turn to see him I won't mind taking a plane. I enjoy flying and travelling, I don't get to do it enough.
I think that's all I have to say for now, gonna try to update this blog every few days. I know I'll miss him tonight...
It's especially lonely when everyone else gets to be with their significant other whenever they want, but I have to wait another 110 days. I see people posting photos of them and their partners together, I see them saying how much of an amazing time they had, or what they're going to do with them the next day. I have no photos of me and my boyfriend together, at least not yet obviously. The closest I have to photos of us together are us on skype.
We've suffered this long, we can do 110 more days. Soon enough we'll be in the home stretch. At least it's less than 4 months now, and our next anniversary (February 7th) will be our 4 month anniversary.
Honestly I'm a lot happier now than I was with any guy here. The only thing that would make this more amazing and perfect is if of course he lived in the same province at least lol. I know people will say "how can he make you happy, you don't know him" or "he might be a jerk in real life". I know all that. But really, I'm an expert on jerks and fishy internet boyfriends. So I'm pretty sure I could tell by now if something was off. Either that or he is a really good liar.
I just love that I can talk to James about literally anything, and be myself 100% without having to hide or mask anything. He's very patient and doesn't get upset/frustrated when I talk about a complicated subject that most people would get turned off by. I'm the same way. When people talk to me about their problems, I don't get upset. So if you feel like you have to mask yourself around someone, maybe they're not a good friend/boyfriend. Your boyfriend should accept you for who you are, even all the bad things. If he gets mad or frustrated when you talk about certain things, like your real feelings (say you're depressed or upset about something) then that's not exactly a healthy relationship. I know because I've been in them. It's really frustrating when you're depressed and your boyfriend gets mad about it. You can't help it. You're just looking for someone to talk to but he shuts down when you try to talk to him. And that's not good.
What I do on these lonely nights is try to keep myself busy even though I don't have a job. I read, write, watch youtube, cross-stitch, super exciting stuff. It's hard to not think about the fact that you're lonely and really want them beside you. I think about it all the time. I also look for jobs, and apply for any I see, but a lot of times there's nothing new. It's not even that my town is a small town, just that for some reason there's never jobs. At least I'm tryin here, just waiting for someone to take the bait.
Well...it's 110 days until I finally meet him. Soon enough he'll be in Massachusetts, which is closer than New York by about 400kms. That'll take 4 hours off his drive. But it's still a 9 hour drive,which is not that bad to be honest. And when it's my turn to see him I won't mind taking a plane. I enjoy flying and travelling, I don't get to do it enough.
I think that's all I have to say for now, gonna try to update this blog every few days. I know I'll miss him tonight...
Sunday, January 12, 2014
The Wait and Missing Him
There are days when you sit there and think about how much you miss your significant other and want them in your arms right now. For most relationships, that's easy, because they see each other everyday (in extreme circumstances and not counting living together), every few days or once or twice a week. So you get to hold them and kiss them pretty much whenever you want to.
For me though, even when all I want is to hug him, I still have to wait 114 days. I just want to be in his arms and I can't. I don't even know what his arms will feel like around me, since we haven't met yet. Most people would say "why should you miss him when you haven't even met him". I just do. There's no explaining it, and I feel like I shouldn't have to explain my feelings to people. There are times when I get really depressed and all I want is him next to me, but I have to settle for his encouraging words and I love that I'm able to be completely myself with him and he still loves everything about me, just as I love everything about him. I've been waiting all my life to hear a guy say that.
Even in relationships with guys here before, I felt like I had to mask or cover up some of who I was, because they would get tired of me being depressed and sad for no reason. Eventually there would be a lot of fighting because they wouldn't accept me for who I was. I'm better with depression now but I still have those days where I feel like nothing's going right and why should I keep going? When I have those days, I can just send him a note on DA (if he's at work) or talk to him about it when he comes home and he'll make me feel better. It's also really hard when you want to talk to them in a real conversation, but since we don't have international texting yet, that can't happen all the time. If he works a closing shift I sometimes have to go over 24 hours without talking to him. Those days are really hard. I usually end up sending him a bunch of notes because I get lonely/bored/sad/miss him and want to tell him of something I did, or if I'm depressed or anything. He doesn't mind though, he said reading my notes and talking to me makes his day better.
It's even harder when I see everyone else in relationships, and it's shoved in my face every weekend when my sister's boyfriend comes over. I'm happy for them and whatnot, and I often hang out with them since my sister will ask me to, but it's really hard to watch them kiss, hug and hold hands, and I get depressed all over again when I realize it'll still be another ____ days before I'll get to do that with my boyfriend.
Is it illogical to miss someone you haven't met? Probably. But I have other internet friends whom I have yet to meet in person, and I miss them. Just not in the same way as I miss my boyfriend, obviously. I feel James' spirit around me, maybe I'm delusional but I often feel like he's here next to me. We have a connection that is different from anything I've ever felt before, and he's said he hasn't felt this way before either.
What makes it harder for me is that I don't have a job to keep me busy, so I'm left home alone a lot while everyone else is at work (including James and my family). Since I'm an introvert I don't mind being home alone often, but it can wear on me after a while, and I start to wonder if there's really a point to my life. Plus I'm worried that if I don't get a job in time for May, I won't save up the money I want to save for when James comes. He said he'll still come anyway, so I hope he will. But I don't want him to have to pay for everything since he'll be paying for gas on the trip here and back, plus getting a passport and all that. So I really hope I get a job soon...I've been applying for whatever I see online that I might like, but so far I never hear a response. And that makes me depressed too.
I know waiting all this time will be worth it. It's already almost halfway through January, I'm pretty sure May will get here soon enough. But sometimes it just feels like it'll take forever to get here.
For me though, even when all I want is to hug him, I still have to wait 114 days. I just want to be in his arms and I can't. I don't even know what his arms will feel like around me, since we haven't met yet. Most people would say "why should you miss him when you haven't even met him". I just do. There's no explaining it, and I feel like I shouldn't have to explain my feelings to people. There are times when I get really depressed and all I want is him next to me, but I have to settle for his encouraging words and I love that I'm able to be completely myself with him and he still loves everything about me, just as I love everything about him. I've been waiting all my life to hear a guy say that.
Even in relationships with guys here before, I felt like I had to mask or cover up some of who I was, because they would get tired of me being depressed and sad for no reason. Eventually there would be a lot of fighting because they wouldn't accept me for who I was. I'm better with depression now but I still have those days where I feel like nothing's going right and why should I keep going? When I have those days, I can just send him a note on DA (if he's at work) or talk to him about it when he comes home and he'll make me feel better. It's also really hard when you want to talk to them in a real conversation, but since we don't have international texting yet, that can't happen all the time. If he works a closing shift I sometimes have to go over 24 hours without talking to him. Those days are really hard. I usually end up sending him a bunch of notes because I get lonely/bored/sad/miss him and want to tell him of something I did, or if I'm depressed or anything. He doesn't mind though, he said reading my notes and talking to me makes his day better.
It's even harder when I see everyone else in relationships, and it's shoved in my face every weekend when my sister's boyfriend comes over. I'm happy for them and whatnot, and I often hang out with them since my sister will ask me to, but it's really hard to watch them kiss, hug and hold hands, and I get depressed all over again when I realize it'll still be another ____ days before I'll get to do that with my boyfriend.
Is it illogical to miss someone you haven't met? Probably. But I have other internet friends whom I have yet to meet in person, and I miss them. Just not in the same way as I miss my boyfriend, obviously. I feel James' spirit around me, maybe I'm delusional but I often feel like he's here next to me. We have a connection that is different from anything I've ever felt before, and he's said he hasn't felt this way before either.
What makes it harder for me is that I don't have a job to keep me busy, so I'm left home alone a lot while everyone else is at work (including James and my family). Since I'm an introvert I don't mind being home alone often, but it can wear on me after a while, and I start to wonder if there's really a point to my life. Plus I'm worried that if I don't get a job in time for May, I won't save up the money I want to save for when James comes. He said he'll still come anyway, so I hope he will. But I don't want him to have to pay for everything since he'll be paying for gas on the trip here and back, plus getting a passport and all that. So I really hope I get a job soon...I've been applying for whatever I see online that I might like, but so far I never hear a response. And that makes me depressed too.
I know waiting all this time will be worth it. It's already almost halfway through January, I'm pretty sure May will get here soon enough. But sometimes it just feels like it'll take forever to get here.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
About Us and How We Met
I have never been in a long distance relationship before this one. Me and him have only been together for slightly over three months, but we've known each other for over four months. I'm from Nova Scotia, Canada, and he's from Brooklyn, New York. My name is Alicia, his name is James. I'm 25 and he's 26.
So far our relationship is going very well for the most part. First though, I'll tell you the story of how we met, which was completely and utterly by fate.
I have a profile on a website called DeviantArt, which I can link my profile here: http://dreamweavermtz.deviantart.com/ Basically it's a website to post photos of the art that you do (in mine and my boyfriend's case, it's photography). And when you log in, there's a home page with several photos that you can click on to look at but any time you refresh the page, there's new photos.
That day, August 27, 2013, a guy whose profile name read Brooklyn47 posted on a photo I had just uploaded. Here's that photo, and the very first conversation we ever had: http://dreamweavermtz.deviantart.com/art/Badass-Photo-395975204
I got looking at his profile, and thought well he's cute (as in his personality), we have a lot of things in common. I totally did not expect anything to happen, since I saw that he was from New York, and I was not thinking of being in a relationship at all. After that initial conversation, I sent him a note, and waited anxiously for him to respond since as you can tell by the comments, we seemed interested in talking to each other. Finally a day or two later, he did. And we didn't stop talking since then.
At first we sent notes back and forth on DA, often having multiple conversations to the point where it got so confusing I had to make folders to organize them lol. I discovered we had a lot in common, and it was almost strange how much we had in common. I am aware of internet scammers but honestly I didn't see any red flags from him from the beginning, and I'm good at spotting red flags (from experience). At first I thought he must have a girlfriend, he's too nice and cute to be single. But he told me that he was single.
To be honest, I kind of started falling for him even before I saw a photo of him. Then I did see a photo of him that he posted on DA, and thought he was cute. After a while, we decided to talk on skype since it was getting tedious to send really long (and I mean really long) notes on DA.
I don't remember the exact day that I first saw him on skype, but I'm pretty sure it was before we got into a relationship. We couldn't talk with our voices because his dad was around and of course we figured our parents wouldn't approve of us being in an LDR. So I didn't get to hear his voice until November. It surprised me, with his accent and how deep his voice is, but it grew on me, especially the second time I heard it, in which we talked for at least two hours or more.
As for how we decided to be in a relationship despite the distance and we knew people wouldn't approve or would think it's weird. To be honest we weren't really thinking of how other people would react. After a while of being friends I realized we liked each other and I brought up the idea of being in a relationship. He agreed on October 7, 2013. We knew that an LDR would be difficult, but later he told me that when he realized he liked me, he was like "fuck the distance". He's also told me that he loves road trips, and would love to drive up here to meet me, so on May 7, 2014, that will happen. He'll drive up here and finally be in my arms.
We picked May 7, 2014 because it'll be our 7 month anniversary, and I knew he was moving to Massachusetts sometime late this month, so it would give him time to settle and get a job there as well. I hope things go according to plan because I really don't want to wait any longer. As of now, I'm already getting anxious, thinking of how amazing it'll be when I get to hug him, kiss him, hold his hand.
And for telling our parents/family: at first, of course, my family thought I was crazy and that it'll never work, besides I haven't met him, how could I like him? I assured them that I've seen him on skype a lot and that he wasn't a scammer, that he's a real person. It took some getting used to, but my mom is coming around nicely, now she says that "things these days are different, just that you have to be careful". And she even asks about how James is doing and such. My sister is still weird about it, she probably thinks that he won't even come up here to meet me, and I don't think my dad thinks much about it since I don't tell him much about relationship stuff. Pretty much most of my friends are supportive too, including my best friend. I know James has told his mother and best friend, of course his mother was weird about it at first too. I'm sure she'll be fine once he comes here and then shows her photos of us when he gets back home.
As for our relationship, we've been getting along really well about 99% of the time, of course it's only early in the relationship, but he knows everything about me and I know everything or most things about him and we've fully accepted each other as we are and don't expect the other to change. We barely have fights, it's mostly me getting upset over stupid things. Again, that could change later, but I don't think so.
I'm not sure exactly what I'll be posting on this blog. Definitely the progress of the relationship, as well as some advice and input on LDR's. And of course, I will be posting a lot after we first meet. So anyone else who is just starting out in an LDR as I am, we can make the journey together. I'm really excited to meet him, so I hope everything goes well and soon enough he'll be in my arms.
So far our relationship is going very well for the most part. First though, I'll tell you the story of how we met, which was completely and utterly by fate.
I have a profile on a website called DeviantArt, which I can link my profile here: http://dreamweavermtz.deviantart.com/ Basically it's a website to post photos of the art that you do (in mine and my boyfriend's case, it's photography). And when you log in, there's a home page with several photos that you can click on to look at but any time you refresh the page, there's new photos.
That day, August 27, 2013, a guy whose profile name read Brooklyn47 posted on a photo I had just uploaded. Here's that photo, and the very first conversation we ever had: http://dreamweavermtz.deviantart.com/art/Badass-Photo-395975204
I got looking at his profile, and thought well he's cute (as in his personality), we have a lot of things in common. I totally did not expect anything to happen, since I saw that he was from New York, and I was not thinking of being in a relationship at all. After that initial conversation, I sent him a note, and waited anxiously for him to respond since as you can tell by the comments, we seemed interested in talking to each other. Finally a day or two later, he did. And we didn't stop talking since then.
At first we sent notes back and forth on DA, often having multiple conversations to the point where it got so confusing I had to make folders to organize them lol. I discovered we had a lot in common, and it was almost strange how much we had in common. I am aware of internet scammers but honestly I didn't see any red flags from him from the beginning, and I'm good at spotting red flags (from experience). At first I thought he must have a girlfriend, he's too nice and cute to be single. But he told me that he was single.
To be honest, I kind of started falling for him even before I saw a photo of him. Then I did see a photo of him that he posted on DA, and thought he was cute. After a while, we decided to talk on skype since it was getting tedious to send really long (and I mean really long) notes on DA.
I don't remember the exact day that I first saw him on skype, but I'm pretty sure it was before we got into a relationship. We couldn't talk with our voices because his dad was around and of course we figured our parents wouldn't approve of us being in an LDR. So I didn't get to hear his voice until November. It surprised me, with his accent and how deep his voice is, but it grew on me, especially the second time I heard it, in which we talked for at least two hours or more.
As for how we decided to be in a relationship despite the distance and we knew people wouldn't approve or would think it's weird. To be honest we weren't really thinking of how other people would react. After a while of being friends I realized we liked each other and I brought up the idea of being in a relationship. He agreed on October 7, 2013. We knew that an LDR would be difficult, but later he told me that when he realized he liked me, he was like "fuck the distance". He's also told me that he loves road trips, and would love to drive up here to meet me, so on May 7, 2014, that will happen. He'll drive up here and finally be in my arms.
We picked May 7, 2014 because it'll be our 7 month anniversary, and I knew he was moving to Massachusetts sometime late this month, so it would give him time to settle and get a job there as well. I hope things go according to plan because I really don't want to wait any longer. As of now, I'm already getting anxious, thinking of how amazing it'll be when I get to hug him, kiss him, hold his hand.
And for telling our parents/family: at first, of course, my family thought I was crazy and that it'll never work, besides I haven't met him, how could I like him? I assured them that I've seen him on skype a lot and that he wasn't a scammer, that he's a real person. It took some getting used to, but my mom is coming around nicely, now she says that "things these days are different, just that you have to be careful". And she even asks about how James is doing and such. My sister is still weird about it, she probably thinks that he won't even come up here to meet me, and I don't think my dad thinks much about it since I don't tell him much about relationship stuff. Pretty much most of my friends are supportive too, including my best friend. I know James has told his mother and best friend, of course his mother was weird about it at first too. I'm sure she'll be fine once he comes here and then shows her photos of us when he gets back home.
As for our relationship, we've been getting along really well about 99% of the time, of course it's only early in the relationship, but he knows everything about me and I know everything or most things about him and we've fully accepted each other as we are and don't expect the other to change. We barely have fights, it's mostly me getting upset over stupid things. Again, that could change later, but I don't think so.
I'm not sure exactly what I'll be posting on this blog. Definitely the progress of the relationship, as well as some advice and input on LDR's. And of course, I will be posting a lot after we first meet. So anyone else who is just starting out in an LDR as I am, we can make the journey together. I'm really excited to meet him, so I hope everything goes well and soon enough he'll be in my arms.
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