Alone? I Don't Think So

Did anyone ever tell you that you'll just end up alone because no one wants to be around people like you?

Yeah, I've been told that, by more than one person. And to be honest, when I was single for the last 10 months, I started to believe it. I started to think that no one would ever love me for who I was, even the bad things about me. I thought, how is it fair that people who are worse off than me, are in a relationship while I'm still single? What did I do wrong? I was only depressed, yet people who had a lot worse problems/attitudes than me were in relationships. I was starting to feel defeated.

When I met James, I wasn't looking out to start a new relationship, especially not an LDR. Although, even in the month or so before I met him, I'd started watching those LDR first meeting videos. After I met James, and we started talking consistently, I thought maybe I'd met a new internet friend but that it wouldn't ever go beyond that, since well, he lived in a different country and I thought most guys aren't willing to start an LDR, they'd rather date someone in their own state/province/town, etc. James is the opposite, he complains about the girls in New York and how shallow most of them are, so that's why he was happy to start an LDR with me. And like I said, I gave enough guys here enough chances, and they all blew it.

So, even if you're single and someone tells you that you're just going to end up alone, don't despair. Just keep waiting until God puts the right one in your life. That's what I believe happened with me and James. I was single that long because I was waiting for something, someone, or thinking that I was going to be alone like people have said. I didn't want to go out and pursue relationships anymore. James joined DA one month before he met me, so I think that definitely says something. He told me that something kept telling him to join DA, and then he met me and our lives changed completely.

Sure it's definitely way too soon to think about getting married to him, but we've talked about it and I'd say things like "no one wants to marry me" and he'd be like "ohh you never know ;)". He didn't shy away from the topic of marriage as most guys do. I know we're only 3.5 months in and we have not met in person yet, but if you're a girl you'll know that most girls fantasize about their weddings even when they're single, or no matter what guy they're with.

I'm very happy in my relationship, although slightly depressed about where my life is at the moment (no job, no car, etc) but I'm sure something will happen soon, at least I hope. Everyone keeps telling me I'll get a job soon, so I guess all I can do is keep applying and wait. I've applied to two more jobs in the last couple of days, one of them being in the area that I studied in school. So I hope I hear something. I need a break here.

At least I have love, and James, to help me through these rough times <3