It's normal to be anxious while waiting for someone to come online, especially if they tell you they'll be online at a certain time, then they turn out to be an hour or more late. What if you have no other way to contact them (meaning you don't have international texting or calling yet such as in my situation) so you wait and wait all day and then by the time they come on you're either relieved or mad, or both.
Take this scenario for example: he says "I'll be on around 11am or so my time (however big your time difference is, if you have one)". So you wake up the next day, and 11 am his time comes around. He doesn't come online, so you shrug it off as him sleeping in or doing some duty that he told you about. An hour passes, you're still not that worried. He could be stuck in traffic, had to go and do something else without warning, etc. Two hours go by, so you start to think more about where he could be. He's two hours late, did he just forget about you? Did something happen to him? Three hours go by, now you're just pacing the floor and biting your nails because you have no way to contact him even if something happened to him. He finally comes online and gives you a reasonable excuse for which you feel like an idiot for worrying.
It's happened to me a few times so far. James is usually pretty good with coming online when he says he will. The only time he's late is if the subway/buses are running late or if he had to go do something unexpectedly, or if he got out of work late. It's important to tell your partner, especially in an LDR, the things you'll be doing that day so they don't spend all day worrying and waiting for you. I don't think it's too much to ask to ease the anxiety. James and I tell each other everything. It's not like you have to ask permission from the person to go do something. Just let them know approximately what time you'll be back, or at least what you're doing so they get an idea of when they'll be able to talk to you again.
I don't have a job, like I said before, so it's hard for me to wait all day for him. I mean, I try to keep myself busy, but there's only so much I can do before I start to wonder where he is, or how he's doing, or if he'll be online soon. I'm not a possessive girlfriend, but it's not that hard to say "hey I'm going to get my hair cut then going to lunch with my best friend, be back in a few hours". That's all I'd ask, and James does tell me what he's doing unless something comes up unexpectedly like I said. It's better than waking up, and not hearing a single word from them until later in the evening.
The point of LDR's is constant communication. Or at least, as constant as you can make it. If both of you have really busy schedules or large time differences and can't talk more than a few times a week then chances are it won't work out in the long run. It's not fun to be with a person who is busy all the time and doesn't have time to even talk to you for a couple of hours each day. I'm lucky that James is only one hour behind me so our time difference is not bad at all and it's easy for us to talk often. He works, but he talks to me whenever he's not at work or doing errands with his dad.
Tonight he works closing shift which sucks, but he talked to me before he left and he has tomorrow and Wednesday off so that is more talking for us which makes me happy. Although I don't know exactly what time he's going to be coming online but he said if he's not online in the morning he'll be here early afternoon for sure. So at least I got some kind of an idea of when he'll be online.
It's better than just not saying anything and expecting the other person to wait all day for you. I never have plans so I don't have to worry about waiting for him to interfere with other plans, but some people do. Like, say a friend asks you to hang out, but you turn them down because you're waiting to talk to your partner, and they don't end up coming online until a few hours later so you would have had time to hang out with your friend after all. It just makes it easier in the long run and it's not a hard thing to do. Some guys get all mad and say that we're asking too much of them. If they think that's asking too much, then tell them it's better than having to ask permission to do anything. I'm also lucky that James doesn't mind telling me what he's doing and I don't mind telling him what I'm doing.
I don't get those relationships where they're like "hey honey can I go to my best friend's place for a few hours" then they get all upset and demand to spend the time with you instead of letting you go. It's nice to have someone who is jealous and protective of me but at the same time he trusts me. And I trust him too.
I am getting really excited about meeting him though. Soon enough it'll be here.
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