So, again I've been seeing people making comments like "if you haven't met in person then you're not really dating" or "online dating never works, you should only meet the guy in person first like at a grocery store or a bar" or "I married my high school sweetheart so I never had to date online". Well, perhaps that worked for you, but it doesn't work for everyone. I've already written a few posts about this topic of catfish and online scammers but here's another one cause it pisses me off when people are idiots and completely dismiss online dating because they think everyone on the internet is fake, or they met their husband/wife in person so they are high and mighty above online dating.
I've had five boyfriends. The first one I met through a friend, and of course we started talking online. The rest I met on a dating site, then met in person. Of course I'd start messaging guys, then they'd stop messaging if they lost interest, or if the guy seemed suspicious I wouldn't answer them. I'm pretty smart when it comes to online dating. I'm just not a social person and won't strike up a conversation with a random guy at a grocery store, or especially not at the bar.
Besides, people can lie to you in person just as easily as they can online. There's been stories where people have been married/in a relationship for years only to find out their spouse was cheating on them or lying about other things such as money. Say you meet a guy at work, or college and start talking to him. You end up falling for him, getting together with him. You're dating for two years and suddenly find out that he's had girls on the side the whole time you've been together. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. It's no different online. Just because you met your boyfriend/husband in person doesn't somehow make you better or give you the right to look down your nose at those of us who meet people online.
Then there are the cases of say, married guys who meet girls at bars, they can easily take their wedding rings off and lie about being married. I'm sure there's real, normal people at bars too. But again it's just as risky as online dating. Or you could meet someone at the bar and he could end up taking you home and trying to rape/murder you. I've had a guy who was wasted, he danced with me for a few seconds, then found me again later and grab me and try to pull me out of the club, but I saved myself by pushing him away and then running to my friend. My friend assumed that the guy was my other friend I was with (who had disappeared into the crowd at this point), plus he was drunk too so that's why he didn't help me. But anyway. It's just as dangerous in person as it is online. If I had let that guy get away with it, I could be dead or at least suffering from post-traumatic stress from the rape and never trust guys again.
Yes, it is easier to cheat if you're in an online long distance relationship. The other person could have no idea you're going around banging girls/guys who live near you. And they probably wouldn't ever find out, at least in some cases. It's exactly the same thing though. If you meet a real guy (like I have) online and live too far apart to meet right away, go on skype to make sure he's real. I've been talking to mine on skype for the over seven months we've been together. It's pretty much like hanging out in person.
Sure, chances are that he could be lying about wanting to meet me, then when I wonder why his passport isn't coming he'll just keep saying it's been delayed again. I am aware of all of these things, and I'm also preparing for what if this ends up not working out because something goes wrong with his passport? I've watched enough scammer shows, and if this doesn't end up working out I will be quite upset. But again, it's just like if any other local relationship doesn't work out. You'll cry for a while, then eventually forget about them and move on.
So before you go and insult or make fun of those of us who are dating online, think about this: how often do you meet someone who is willing to go through all this stress, all this waiting, all this travelling and money just to be with you? I haven't met mine in person yet, but I know I will soon, and if he wasn't willing he wouldn't have started this in the first place, just like if I wasn't willing. Besides, what about all those other couples who have met online, and are now married or at least still together, despite the distance?? Just because your online dating didn't work out for you, or you met your partner in person, doesn't make you better than those of us who have not met our online boyfriends yet. I didn't even meet James on a dating site, I met him on a photography site. And I was not out looking for a relationship at the time, and neither was he.
Sorry for the rant, but closed-minded people like that bother me. I know James will be here soon, but I have a plan: if worse comes to worse and he has not come here by August, then I will know that this is not going to work out. I won't let it go on for years without meeting him, that's just ridiculous when girls do that. No matter how many "legit" excuses a guy can come up with for not meeting you, if he really wants to meet you in person he will get his ass to you. Me and James are having this issue with his passport taking longer than we thought it would, but with any luck it should be here this week or next week. But if this keeps going on, meaning I still haven't met him by August due to multiple excuses on his part, like I said I think I would end things with him unfortunately. It breaks my heart to think about that, but I would get over it and move on.
I really do hope things work out for the better for us, and once he gets his passport we can finally move forward with a new meeting date. This waiting is really hard, and it's torture. I just can't wait for the day when he comes online and tells me that he got his passport. It'll be a huge weight off our shoulders. I know I will probably cry, lol.
Anyway, that's all for today. Hopefully the next time I post will be with good news.
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