1) June 4 - The whole shootout thing in Moncton... my sister's boyfriend lives in the area that it happened, and that was locked down, so naturally we were worried about him, but luckily he wasn't home when it happened, but he couldn't get home from where he was. He ended up being stuck at a restaurant just outside the lockdown area for a few hours, which wasn't exactly a safe spot to be, but eventually went to a friend's place in a different town. And I feel so bad for those mounties who were killed and their families, I really hope the asshole who did this gets what he deserves. Life in prison without parole. My dad was a mountie so I know how it is to see your dad go to work everyday and wonder if he'll come home.
2) June 12 - My cousin died tragically in a house fire, I was close friends with her daughter in high school. Our families were close to each other, so that was hard on us. Me and my dad went to a get together for her, but they aren't having a funeral, which was her father's idea. A lot of people were upset about that. I also saw my cousin (her daughter) the other day in town, and was talking to her for a bit. It must be really tough to lose your mother. Especially in a way that could have been avoided. :( A couple days after the tragedy, I went to her trailer to lay down a rose in the memorial they had going. It was harder than I thought it would be to see her trailer and how burned it was.
3) June 19 - I lost my job. A half hour before my shift ended, they called me aside and told me that after 3 months they do an evaluation to see if I'm a good fit for the company or not, and apparently I'm not a good fit. My manager said that it's not that I'm a bad employee, cause I'm not, just that I'm not a good fit in that particular store :/ So that was my last shift, and I had no idea it was coming. But according to my friend who works there, she said that they can fire you when you're on your 3 month probation with no reason or warning. So, basically now I'm jobless yet again, until God knows how long, and I really hope that I can find a job before I go to Massachusetts in the fall. Sigh. Well, at least I have the money saved for when James gets here, so that was one less worry.
So, that's how bad the month of June was for me. The only good thing about it was on the day I got fired, there was a nice thunder and lightning storm that lasted about a half hour. And after that storm, there was a huge double rainbow. I can post photos on here.
 |
| Storm clouds. |
 |
| Double rainbow. Couldn't get the whole thing in one photo. |
And that's another thing I'm worried about...James. What's going to happen with his passport next month when he goes back in? Are they going to tell him that it got denied? That he has to apply for it over again? Or that he has to wait another 6 - 8 weeks until it arrives? Or will we get actual good news for once, and that it will be ready in 3 weeks since he did originally apply for the 3 weeks one. Ugh. It's frustrating, not knowing. All he wants is a damn passport to come to Canada for a week and they're jerking him around.
I'm scared that if things go bad with his passport, what'll happen with our relationship? Will we just give up and break up? He's told me that he said if things go bad with his passport and he won't be able to get it for a while yet, that I should just break up with him because he's not worthy of me. I've thought about breaking up with him too if things go bad with his passport, but the thought of never getting to meet him kills me now. I'm depressed now, but if things go bad with his passport and we do end up breaking up I'll be even worse. I don't know. I really want this relationship to work and seeing him on skype last night made me even more desperate to be with him. I'm just really scared that things will go bad next month and we'll end up breaking up :'(
He's told me he doesn't want to lose me, but that if he can't see me this summer, that he's not worthy of me. He said he does want to come here first, so that my family can trust him and trust that he is who he says he is. So that when I go there, it won't be a big worry for them since they will know him. I've thought about going there too if things go bad, but I do know my mom wouldn't let me at all. She'd probably think that he sounds sketchy if he can't come here. I'm like, I'm 25 mom, even kids younger than me travel anywhere they want to, by themselves. At least I've been talking to this guy for almost 9 months now so it's not like I just up and ran off to meet a stranger. And I know he's not a scammer.
In a book I read recently, Just One Day, the girl is 19 I think? And after she has that one day with the guy in Paris, she can't shake the feeling of him. So a year later she decides to look for him, and her parents let her (although reluctantly) go to Paris completely alone, to find this guy she only knew for one day because it's "true love". I know that is ridiculous and probably no parents in their right mind in the real world would let their daughter do that. At least, not their teenage daughter. If she was my age, they would probably let her. But anyway.
I think there's a glitch on blogger or something because as I was writing this, every so often it would randomly go back to the blogger dashboard. Luckily it has auto save or I'd be really pissed, but it's still annoying. I didn't click on any buttons or anything, at least I didn't notice. I don't know.
But I really hope this relationship works out, because I desperately want to meet James. I'm praying for good news next month. I think he's going back to the passport office maybe next week or the week after. And whatever news they give us could end up either destroying what's left of my life or making me very happy. I'm so scared... :(
No comments:
Post a Comment