So far, July's been alright. Despite a bit of drama with past nuances who can't just seem to leave my twitter profile alone and stop commenting on shit I say, it's been decent.
I'm also noticing quite a bit of drama on the LDR accounts on twitter. A few girls who are in LDRs (and have met their boyfriends multiple times over the years they've been together) kind of started looking down on those of us who haven't met. They kept saying shit like "it's not a real LDR, you're only just penpals until you meet in person" and I'm like well that's kind of rude to say. Then that same person was like "you shouldn't start a relationship until you meet in person, good God people"
Here's what I have to say to her:
Weren't you in the same position that me and my boyfriend are in? I'm sure you had a crush on a guy you met online, then waited some time to meet him in person. I forget her story completely, whether she met the guy in person then they were long distance, I'm not sure. But a few of the other LDR accounts who were making fun of us who haven't met yet, are like that. Meaning they met the person first before starting the LDR.
And we haven't had the privilege of meeting yet. So you're basically demeaning our relationship by saying that we're only "penpals"? After all the shit we've gone through? I'm pretty sure our connection is deeper than just people who write each other online once in a while. Just the way they say it, they seem like they're being snobby about the fact that they've met their S/O's multiple times, so they know their bf's better than those of us who haven't met? Sigh. Well, I don't really care about people's opinions on my LDR. I'm in love, and that's that. They can't tell me when I should or shouldn't fall in love with someone.
Anyway, let's recap so far:
June 30th: Went to Rushton's Beach by myself. It's a small, overly crowded beach in Tatamagouche, NS. I managed to find a decent spot to rest that was somewhat away from people. But I still prefer Caribou Island, and I'm going to take James to Caribou rather than Rushton's.
July 1st: Went to the Canada Day fireworks in Pugwash with my mom, my sister, and her boyfriend. Of course my sister and her boyfriend invited two more friends along, who are also a couple, therefore leaving me all like "ugh why isn't my boyfriend here" sad inside. Of course not many people do LDR's these days. So my sister's friends probably would have looked at me weird if I'd told them my boyfriend is in New York right now. And you know, I haven't met him in person yet.
July 5th: Tropical Storm Arthur did quite a bit of damage around NS and the other Maritime provinces. There was a lot of flooding in NB. Here on my property, we lost a few trees and some branches off the bigger trees. One tree lost a huge chunk of it so it now has a bare spot on the top. It's not too bad, but still kind of sad. I think that the wind gusts here were up to 120km/h. That night, it was still really windy, so I took my laptop outside while me and James went on skype so he could hear the wind.
July 7th: Me and James celebrated our nine month anniversary. That's nine months of being apart. And it's a really big accomplishment, that we can be nine months apart and still be this in love. Not many couples could handle being apart for that long. We haven't met in person yet, but he still makes me laugh and smile every time we go on skype, and I don't think we will ever get tired of that any time soon. I just love him to pieces, which is why I am terrified of the next date I'm about to write.
July 10th (tomorrow): James is going back to the passport office to see what the hell is up with his passport.
And I'm terrified.
I know he's nervous and worried about it too. The worst things that could happen are that they could deny it, or tell him he has to apply again for whatever reason. However, I don't think they will deny it, because I am pretty sure if they were going to deny it, they would have already. July 11th is the day that his case is a year old so that's why he waited this long to go back, and we're hoping they'll be able to tell us more about what's going to happen with it. Ugh. I am so nervous.
I don't think we will break up if things go bad. He's told me though, that if things do go really bad and we end up breaking up, then after a while he does end up getting his passport after all, we can get back together. But then I'm like, what would be the point of breaking up, other than causing a lot of heartache for nothing? I know I won't find anyone else for quite some time. I'd still be waiting for James even if we broke up and remained friends.
I just want Thursday to get here already. He has the day off, so the first thing he's going to do is go to the passport office, then run some errands, then come home. But, I will update this blog once we get the results from that day, even if they aren't good, or if we still don't know anything.
I fucking want to meet him this summer so bad. Next month would be ideal. September would be all right. But if we haven't met still by the end of September, then it's not looking too good for us :( and I will be heartbroken and upset if we still haven't met by then.
Why does this have to be so difficult? If he didn't have that case, and had his passport by now, he would have been here in May when we'd originally planned, and would have likely been planning a second trip to here. I'm still pissed that it's been over three months and he still doesn't have his passport. I know they told him that they were waiting until the case is a year old, but it's fucking driving me nuts. I don't want people to think badly of him or second guess his intentions. I know he wants to meet me. It's not his fault their government sucks.
Anyway, I guess all I can do is breathe and wait for what they have to say on Thursday. And pray that it's something good.
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