Being Emotional Around Each Other

Can I just say how much I love him?

I love that I'm able to fully be myself, even emotionally, around James, and that I don't have to fake being happy when I'm really feeling upset or hurt. Faking emotions is the worst. It's also frustrating when you just want someone to talk to/hang out with and people keep brushing you off, yet you see them hanging out with other people. I'm also selective on who I talk to about certain things. James (and my best friend) are the only ones I open up fully to about everything and they won't judge me or talk down to me.

Tonight I was feeling down, upset and hurt, and even cried a little while on skype with James. Honestly, it's like we're hanging out in person. Being in an LDR isn't all butterflies and flowers and happy times on skype. Just as if we were in person, we can be emotional around each other, or be in a grumpy mood, or just have a blah day. James has been in grumpy moods while on skype with me, although he wasn't grumpy at me, just had a bad day or wasn't feeling well.

I didn't take any skype photos tonight because well obviously I was emotional and just not in the mood for smiley times. He didn't just brush over my moods, he talked to me about what was bothering me and I love that I'm able to open up to him about anything. It helps that he's been through a lot of the same things that I have, so he can relate and knows the feeling of being hurt, abandoned, betrayed, etc.

Tonight I'm in a weird mood, I feel weighed down and like I don't matter to anyone anymore. But as James said, we have each other, and that's all that matters. Fuck people who don't care. When I'm with him, I won't even think about anyone else. We can heal together and just forget the world.

As the time gets closer, I'm getting more anxious, nervous, excited, I'm sure other people in LDRs have felt the same. I do know I really can't wait to finally be with him, seven months is a long haul, and now May 7th doesn't seem that far off. Only 69 more days to go until I meet my soulmate in person for the first time <3