If only things had gone according to plan, we would have been meeting in person next Wednesday :( but of course, things had to get fucked up with his passport, and well here we are, still in limbo with no date and he's still unsure about when he's moving.
We're still good though, I mean, in our relationship. He's in Pennsylvania right now, sadly for his cousin's funeral which is tomorrow. Him and his dad got a hotel room there, and they'll head back to New York right after the funeral tomorrow. But I'll still get to talk to him tonight. And then on Wednesday, James said he'll call the passport people for another update. After that, he'll make a decision on moving. I just have to be patient and know the wait will be worth it.
Even though we don't have a date, I am excited to do things with him. He agrees that he should be able to make it late May or early June, and he said he is dying to see me. So I know he's as excited to meet me as I am to meet him. I think that after all this waiting and hard times we went through, even after being hurt in the past, we deserve it, and we deserve to be happy with each other.
As of now I'm still waiting for him to get back from the wake that was tonight. I'm not sure what time it was over, or if he was going out with his family afterwards. It's starting to get a little late now and I'm getting worried, wondering where he is. I hate that. If we had texting I could just send him a message and be like hey what's up. Instead I have to wait until he's online. Most relationships couldn't do that. They have to know exactly what their boyfriend/partner is doing 24/7. I'm usually like that to be honest, but I've learned in this relationship to not scrutinize everything he does or demand all the details. Even if sometimes I get upset if he's late or whatever, that's natural. But I still don't demand or assume that he's seeing other girls. He does tell me what he's doing, like he gave me a run down of what was going to happen while he's there in Pennsylvania, but he didn't tell me every detail. I just wish I could have known what time he'd be back tonight so I'm not sitting here worrying :(
I think it's even worse with local relationships, because you're up in each other's business all the time, annoying the crap out of each other, wanting to know exactly where they're at and what they're doing all the time. I was like that with my ex's I'll admit. I think it's part of what drove them away from me. But with James, it's odd because he lives in a different country and I trust him 100%. I don't demand to know where he was when he gets home, although I did that at first, but now I'm getting used to his schedule and whatnot, and I only get upset if he's a couple hours late. That's reasonable I guess.
So, like I said, now the plan is to wait until he gets a hold of the passport place this week and see what they have to say, then this week he'll make a decision about moving. Once that gets into place, he'll put in his 2 week notice at work, then prepare to move to Massachusetts two weeks after that. And, depending on if he gets his passport before he leaves New York or not, he'll wait about a week or so after moving before coming up to see me. So, with that being said, he should get here by early June at the latest. Depending of if we get another delay with his passport or not. I just hate being so uncertain all the time and not being able to tell people when I'll be meeting my boyfriend. I just hope it'll get resolved in the next couple of weeks and then we'll have a countdown once again.
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