However, as I've said before, he's definitely not shown any red flags that usually come with scammers. He hasn't asked me for money, or made up some elaborate back story about his life to make me feel sorry for him. We go on webcam every night and he's talked to me with his voice on there. Yes he does have an accent, but it's not like I'm just falling in love with a picture or just a voice, as well as his English grammar is like that of a person whose native language is English. All the stories he tells me do add up and nothing sounds suspicious or out of the ordinary. I wouldn't have let it get this far if I'd suspected anything at all. I'm not stupid when it comes to online dating, and like I've said, any other guy I met online turned out to be real when I met them in person.
You can really meet some awesome people online. It's how I met my best friend. I met my other boyfriends online and then in person, although they weren't so awesome in the end, I had decent relationships with a couple of them. I've also met friends who I know to be true people, and developed close friendships with them, although I haven't met them in person yet. You just have to be really careful and not open up your heart to just anybody who might say a friendly word or two.
One thing I don't understand, is these women who just give away their money to someone they haven't even seen on webcam, only hearing their voice, writing emails and seeing a photo. I mean, I won't give my money to anyone at all who asks for it, unless it's a family member or friend who needs a few dollars of course. But to give money to someone online because they say sweet things to you and make up stories of how they're in trouble to get you to feel sorry for them? Or to send money to someone online at all? That sounds really fishy to me. I would never do that.
I've had one guy online, on DA ask me for money, well he sent me a weird message and I told him I have a bf, then he kept going on about how "if you send me money I'll come to see you and make you see you don't need anyone else but me" -_- come on now, no one's that stupid. He asked a couple of more times and I finally ignored him, and he stopped asking. Even if I was single, I wouldn't be so "emotional" and "desperate" that I would fall for that crap.
And it's not only money, but these women get emotionally involved with someone who is totally and obviously a fake, so I don't see how they get caught up in that. I am emotionally involved with James, but like I said I know he's not a fake, and he will come and see me. If he doesn't, well the joke's on me and I've been had. I would be heartbroken but I would heal as I have so many other times from guys who've hurt me in person. It's just the same thing.
Anyway, a lot of times these scammer guys say they're living in the same country as you, then they immediately have to go overseas for some crazy reason or another. Or they're already living overseas. I do know that there have been overseas romances that have been true and worked out, same as any long distance online relationship. They often say they have some kind of job where supposedly they make a lot of money. Yet if that were true, why would they keep asking for money from you??
Also, if you have that much money that you can give to this guy, why not use the money to surprise him and go over there to meet him to make sure he's real? If you text him while you're there saying "hey I'm here in ___, I'd love to meet up with you, I thought I'd surprise you" and they get nervous and tell you they don't want to, or can't, meet up, then you know it's a scam and you'd probably have saved a lot more money by travelling over there. I wouldn't just sit there waiting and depending on them to show up even after they've cancelled a few times, because they won't come to you, so why not go to them just to be sure?
I am nervous about James cancelling on me, and me and him had a fight last night about it. Basically I told him that I didn't think he would come, and he got upset and hurt that I would doubt him so much. However we talked it through like adults, and got over it in the end and he still came on webcam last night to see me. All I can do is wait and hope that he's right, that I can trust him and won't have to doubt him because he will come and see me.
There are a lot of warning signs that you're involved with a scammer, but a big one is the moment they ask you for money, it's best to just drop out of that "relationship" and stop talking to them/block them immediately because it was never a relationship to begin with. If someone really loves you, they won't ask you for money, especially a large sum of money such as over 500$ or so. I mean, once James comes here I'm sure he'll offer to pay for things for me just as I'll offer to pay for things for him. But he hasn't asked me for money, and I know he won't, and I won't ask him either, even though I'm really broke and I know he has a lot more money than I do. I wouldn't take advantage of him like that, I'm just going to wait until I get my own job so I can pay for my own things.
People would say "why not just date someone from your own town instead of doing this online crap". Well, people can be scammers in person, they can lie, cheat, hide things, just as well as they can in online relationships. You could be dating someone in person, only to find out later they've been living a secret life, there's a ton of stories on that. It's no different, really, in my opinion.
I think that's about all I wanted to say for now. Still got another six or so hours before I talk to him again tonight :( sigh. Boring day...
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