LDR Problems

It really sucks when I just need a hug from James and I can't have it :(

I'm not feeling well, my head hurts, I'm tired, and I just want to cuddle up to him and feel his arms around me. But I can't. It's one of many LDR problems.

In 50 days I'll be able to though. He'll be with me for a full week, I'll have him here, and we'll be able to be happy and just forget the world.  If I cry, he'll hold me. If I'm feeling sick, he'll make me feel better. If I'm feeling just blah, he'll make me smile and laugh.

Dear girls: if your guy treats you as anything less than the #1 person in his life, he's not worth it. Really. Any guy I dated before treated me as 2nd best to either something (partying, their money and car, video games) or someone (an ex they couldn't get over, another girl, their bros, etc). I know what it's like, and it really hurts. So don't settle just because you think you're in love. Sure, it hurts to think about leaving them. I understand. Even if they haven't treated you the best or if they've made you feel like you're less than them. But at least realize that he probably won't ever change that.

Whenever I'm feeling insecure and think that James should find someone in his country, he says "no stay with me" or "no you're mine, I don't want anyone else <3". It really makes me feel that he wants this to work as much as I do, he hasn't given up yet.

Hopefully tomorrow he can go get his passport photo taken while I'm at work, and then Thursday return to apply for his passport. I hope this week works out better, and that in a few weeks he'll have his passport in hand since he's paying extra to get it delivered faster <3 our meeting is really getting closer. I'm getting excited, and once this week goes by and he's done all the passport business, it'll be another step closer. It'll feel like it's really going to happen.

Now I'm feeling more confident that he'll come, even though he hasn't applied for his passport yet, but he's going to this week. I guess I just feel that things are falling into place, and that he is going to be a major part of my life. I think my faith is growing, when before I was really paranoid that he wouldn't come. I still worry, but I think the bigger part of me now is winning out, and having faith in him. So...in 50 days, he'll be here, he'll be real, he'll be in my arms and nothing will stop us from then on <3