Working and Waiting

So I figured I should write another blog post since I haven't been on here in a few days now. There's not a whole lot to report. I did work two days at my job last week, for training, and I am enjoying it, however it's a busy store. I was a little intimidated at first, and I still need someone to be next to me as I'm ringing people in, in case I mess up, but I've only been there 2 days so I still have lots of time to get used to it. My next day working is Tuesday, which sucks because James has Tuesday off, but he usually doesn't get online until around 3 - 4 pm my time anyway, and I'm off at 2 pm my time so that's fine. Even when I start to work longer hours on his days off, I'll still get home at a decent time to be able to talk to him.

And, he told me that he is calling out of work on Wednesday to go apply for his passport. Soon he'll have to put his 2 weeks notice in there anyway, so he said he's not worried about calling out too much anymore. I'll be looking forward to that day, and the day that he finally does get his passport so I'll know for sure he's coming. <3 Once he moves to Massachusetts, he'll be getting a car. Soon things will be starting to fall into place, at least I hope.

The worst part of this has been the waiting. Waiting for him to get a passport, waiting for him to move to Massachusetts, waiting for him to get a car, and to get things ready for his trip here. I really hope that things go as we'd planned. Otherwise I'll end up looking like an idiot and start to think that this isn't a real relationship at all. He keeps telling me how much he wants to meet me and that I have nothing to worry about on his part so I guess I just have to go by what he says. I still worry and of course, likely won't fully believe it's happening until he is here in my arms.

I don't know if any of you were this anxious before the big first meeting, but I'm sure some of you were, and maybe some of you had your doubts like I do. I mean, it's not that I doubt him. It's just that, well I have only met him online, and he lives in a different country, so there is a potential for things to go wrong. I've never been in an LDR before so I'm naturally anxious about what could go wrong for our first meeting. Plus, I keep thinking about those scammer stories, where they always cancel at the last minute before the meeting, and I'm worried that could happen too. I know James is real. But what if he decides he doesn't want to meet me, that it's too much work? I don't think that'll happen, but everyone worries over different things when they're in an LDR, especially before the very first meeting. After this like I said, he'll have everything (car and passport) and I will definitely be able to trust that he will come when he says he will.

There's a lot riding on this first meeting. He has to get things ready on his part, and make sure he can make it here on May 7. If he doesn't, I'll lose trust in him, along with my dignity, ego and heart will be shattered. He says he will for sure come because he doesn't want to hurt me and let me down, or disappoint himself. I just have to trust him I guess.

Well, I think that's about all I have to say for now. It's only 58 days until I see him <3